Yves: Great observations on multiple truths and our personal reactions to them.
Perhaps we can frame these situations this way?
– everyone has their own perspective (their truth)
– all of these perspectives have validity (my perspective is not more accurate than another’s)
– perspectives include feelings (the facilitator – you – have them too)
– recognizing these feelings and behaving appropriately is very important and useful (I may be angry but shouting at someone may or may not be productive)
It seems to me that the trick for the facilitator is to be non-judgmental; i.e. outwardly neutral, and the voice of objective reason.
That makes your conclusion really important. The facilitator should always have a coach to help them appear neutral for the reasons you suggest.
thanks Paul, I’m not sure if the term “multiple partiality” does exist in english. It does in Dutch, (I learned it in my GTO course) and it is very similar to what you call outwardly neutral.
The term outwardly neutral or appear neutral gives me shivers.
It feels like it is fake. (I know you don’t mean this, but it feels like that to me.)
And for me multiple partiality is not fake, I choose party for each side in turns. And I don’t have anyone favorite. Even for those people who are absent. (And I might have never met.)
I prefer to make my biases or impartialities clear to people. encourage and invite people to challenge mine and ind their own.
I must discipline myself to listen very carefully to their view, reflect back what i understood the to say. question my & their logic. Respect their right to be “wrong”, misinformed or change my view.
As the Moody Blues said “Thinking is the best way to travel, tum, dum tum dum.”
dr jim sellner, PhD., DipC.